IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
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there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
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Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
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