I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Less talking, more tequila
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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