I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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