im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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