2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
