she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
