If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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