I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize