Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize