so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Less talking, more tequila
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
The Olympian is in my bed
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