He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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