I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I have post one night stand depression
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
