yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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