After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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