I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize