Quick, to the slutcave!
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
