i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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