that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
