just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
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I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
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Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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