you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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