i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
