Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Randomize
