umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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