i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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