would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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