I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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