just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Just high enough for therapy.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
