Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
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