She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
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