he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize