She's JV to your varsity
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
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we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
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Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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