So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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