no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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