Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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