Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
