i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
You're a waste of cheezeits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize