Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I'm sobbing to NWA
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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