Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
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on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
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I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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