Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
