No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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