So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
