Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
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Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
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The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
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