wat bout pragnant strippers??
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
