Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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