Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
