It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Randomize
