just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
You took a bar mat shot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize