Do you still have your period?
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize