ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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