Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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