Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
