dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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