ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Randomize
