the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two words: blizzard sex
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Randomize