The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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