shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Randomize