I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
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