I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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