I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
my shit smells like andre
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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